successful love and marriage

What Can Happen When Sex Leaves the Marriage We’ve all been through ups and downs in marriage, and periods of time without sex can be normal. Especially in times of stress and sickness, sex just isn’t a priority, nor should it be. Think of when you have a new baby, or have an extended illness. Not only is sex not a priority during times like those, it sometimes isn’t even on the radar. Hopefully in those situations, as soon as the stress leaves, sex returns and all is back to normal. But there is a different up and down in marriage, where it’s not really anything other than drifting apart. Typically it’s not even intentional. We are working too much, or other things get in the way. Instead of focusing on the marriage, it sort of gravitates toward the back burner, forgotten for a while. In the process, sex becomes a thing of the past. We become strangers, sometimes feeling more like roommates and married couples. Sometimes couples can go weeks, months, or even years withou...

Seven Secrets to a Happy Sexual Relationship Have you ever wondered what it is that keeps a couple happy and still in love for the long haul? You are not alone, and this question of how to have a happy sexual relationship has been the center of many debates and studies the world over. So it’s no surprise that the suggestions and solutions are many and varied, with each successful couple having their own special ingredient. However, there are some universal principles which can go a very long way to enhancing your sexual relationship. This article will look at seven of these ‘secrets’ which are in fact not so much secretive as they are mostly practical good habits to be cultivated if you want to enjoy the benefit of a happy love life with the love of your life. 1. Dispel the illusions The first step towards happiness and contentment in your sexual relationship is in fact to be disillusioned, or in other words to get rid of your illusions. One of the biggest illusions whi...

Porn and Privacy in Relationships. Is it OK? We are quick to pathologize porn usage both in single status and more so in  relationships. Hyper-sexuality and Sexual Addiction are quickly becoming  concerning labels. While not completely innocuous (which we will look at later),  might porn provide the very platform many people need to preserve the last little  part of themselves that has become shared and conventional? 35% of all website traffic is to porn sites. This is more than Amazon, Netflix and  Twitter combined. 1 in 5 mobile searches are for porn. Well then, if this is the reality  of our culture today, can we attempt to understand it better? Rather than dismiss  it as perverse, can we look at some possible reasons for these astounding statistics? Secrecy As a couples therapist, I see the manifestations of finding out one’s partner is “into  porn”. While the varying feelings around this issue are different for each ...

Best Sex Advice for Couples It’s kind of funny when people ask for sex advice because often there isn’t anything wrong with the actual sex. While there are things couples can and should do to improve the physicality of sex, improving the overall sex life usually has much more to do with things outside of the bedroom. What is actually bothering you? The first thing I always tell people is to monitor their thought life. If you don’t know what I mean about a thought life, it is simply anything that you allow into your brain and linger there for a bit. There are thoughts that stick around which make us unhappy with our circumstances. Sometimes those thoughts can deter us from being physically intimate with our spouse. For example, are you allowing yourself to think poorly of your spouse or are you intentionally thinking highly of your spouse? If it is the former, those thoughts need to change. Listen, I am not telling you to disillusion yourself about your spouse. I am simp...

How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex? It’s an interesting question with answers that may surprise you. On an average, how often do married couples have sex? The short answer is, it depends on who you ask. So, how often do married couples have intercourse? There are plenty of different polls out there that lay out different statistics. Here are some of their findings: Newsweek  magazine found in its poll that married couples have sex about 68.5 times a year, or a little more than on an average. The magazine also found out that as compared to unmarried people,  married couples have 6.9 times more sex per year. According to a University of Chicago Study called “The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States,” about 32 percent of married couples have sex two or three times a week, 80 percent of married couples have sex a few times a month or more, and 47 percent say they have sex a few times a month. In another study, this time by Da...